The Kurgan: Jack of All Trades, Master of… None?


You can’t be a world-class surgeon and a top-tier trial lawyer.
You can’t train to be an Olympic swimmer and a Navy SEAL and a classical concert pianist… all at the same time.
Why?
Because mastery takes time.
Because reality has constraints.
And because no matter how much testosterone you inject into your rhetoric, you only get 24 hours in a day like the rest of us.

But then there’s The Kurgan.

According to his own words and bios over the years, he is:

  • A hypnotist trained in trauma recovery and positive hallucinations

  • An NLP practitioner

  • A martial artist (in multiple disciplines, of course)

  • A theologian and apologist who’s solved the sedevacantist puzzle

  • A father of many, including one daughter allegedly abducted to Brazil

  • A computer security expert

  • A sci-fi author, book publisher, and prolific writer (20 books in 7 years!)

  • A visionary scientist founding a globe-spanning research cult modeled after Hellboy

  • A homesteading farmer with a side hustle in raising chickens

  • A YouTuber, blogger, and now… Substack prophet

  • A man who once claimed he’d “storm the Vatican if he had 1,000 men”

That’s not a résumé.
It’s a narcissist’s fever dream.
It’s the kind of grandiose list you’d expect from a con artist trying to impress a drunk podcast host or a lonely incel on Telegram.

Because here’s the truth:
You can’t be elite at even two of those things unless you dedicate your life to them.
But The Kurgan?
He claims elite-level status in all of them, and he does it without ever submitting to outside review, certification, or measurable outcomes.

Where are the peer-reviewed papers?
Where are the published hypnotic case studies?
Where’s the legal record of real exorcisms?
Where’s the evidence of theological depth beyond mockery and memes?

They don’t exist.
And when the masks start to crack — when his YouTube flops, when his blog is abandoned, when KurganTV fails to launch — he just spins up the next thing.
Now it’s Substack. Next it’ll be Paywall Podcasts for “Warriors of the Coming Storm.”

Because like any good grifter, he needs a new con the moment the old one wears thin.

And here’s the irony:
For all his talk of alpha discipline and martial prowess, his career path looks like a dopamine addict bouncing between novelty highs.
He hasn’t built a single enduring institution.
He hasn’t trained any real successors.
He hasn’t published any breakthrough insight the world needed.
He just keeps reinventing himself, always starting over, never arriving.

So ask yourself:
If he truly had the depth he claims, wouldn’t one of his dozens of ventures have actually worked?

Mastery takes decades.
The Kurgan skips to the next cosplay every two years.


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