You Can't Bury a Pope You Denied Existed

You Can’t Bury a Pope You Denied Existed

The Kurgan and the Dead Pope Dilemma

If The Kurgan really believed Pope Francis was never valid, the news of his death should mean exactly nothing.

And yet… brace yourself. He’s almost certainly going to write about it. A lot.

Why?

Because despite all his talk — the raging, the rants, the theological cosplay — he needs Francis to be real.

He needs a villain to fight.
He needs a fake pope to curse.
He needs an “us vs. them” storyline where he is the last pure man standing.

But now the “them” is gone.

The Grand Irony: Commenting Means Legitimizing

If you believe Francis was a nobody, a fake, an impostor — you ignore his death like you would the death of a bad actor in a community play. But if you blog about it, analyze it, weep or cheer over it, you’re acknowledging it mattered.

Kurgan can't help himself.

He’ll mourn, or mock, or “warn the sheep,” but whatever route he takes, he will write.
And that writing will expose the very thing he denies:

That Francis sat in a chair that actually meant something.

The Only Thing Worse Than a Fake Pope is No Pope at All

The Kurgan now has a dilemma:

  • Ignore the papal death, and make himself look like a bitter, outdated LARPer shouting at phantoms.

  • Acknowledge it, and accidentally affirm the very office he’s spent years calling a lie.

Either way, the air’s leaking out of his cause.

Because you can only be a “Crusader against the false pope” for so long…
Before people notice the dragon was actually just a bishop.
And he’s already gone.

Would you like matching images for both blog posts as thumbnails? I can make:

  • One showing a dusty old book with "RECLAIMED... BY TIME"

  • One with a gravestone labeled "Pope Francis" and The Kurgan standing off to the side, confused

Let me know your preference!

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